| 英文說明 |
To Change a Mind
Parenting to Promote Maturity in Teenagers
A young person's misbehavior might get labelled as a
disease and treated with a pill, but the problem often persists.
This book shows that old-fashioned immaturity may be the cause.
Maturity doesn't happen automatically, McKinnon explains.
It only happens when a kid gets "recognition" and "limits."
I didn't understand recognition until I read this book. Giving
a trophy to every kid on a soccer team is not recognition.
Kids want their true selves to be seen. If they are struggling
in soccer they need a trusted adult to see that. Parents are
often tempted to look away from their children's struggles.
Of course, parents sometimes focus too much on a child's
shortcomings without recognizing the good.
Seeing both the good and the bad according to the facts
of the moment is not an easy skill for a parent. This book
shows how to give your child the authentic recognition
they need to mature.
Many kids don't get it, so their child-like behavior continues
into their teen years. Their juvenile narcissism gets bad results
with peers and with teachers. This leads to mounting
disappointment and frustration, but a kid can't change
on their own. They need an adult to enforce limits and
provide frequent recognition. Without this, they are likely
to vent their frustration in immature, self-destructive ways.
At this point, McKinnon says, the problem can't be solved
"at the synaptic level." The kid needs new behaviors.
They need a mature approach to life.
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